Wednesday, April 08, 2009


hey, was able to go online for awhile to do some work.. so anyway i would like to talk about life.. it is never good, it is never bad.. for what i think, life is a chance for us to do what we can as humans.. so i wish to live life to the fullest.. and enjoying it.. even if there were hard times, looking back to it, i would re-think and say i had alot of fun and learned from it.. but the problem now that i am facing is SPM. i wish it never existed and we just had to take SAT. Because of SPM, my senior year in SMK USJ 4 is all gone.. I cant do what i want in school.. I cant carry out activitiies in school, i cant go out that much to school, i cant enjoy my last year of SMK USJ 4. And my graduation will be in a SPM examination hall! In the states, high school doesnt have major exams like SPM. and they can enjoy their graduation year.. People studying in the states also get a good grasp of experience as they can carry out activities like sales, performances, camps and gatherings. Well it clearly shows why students run from homes and school.. We are forced to study in a classroom. School also doesnt bring us out of school to learn. and teachers complain why we get bad marks. we do not get enough exposure for the outside world. we are forced to memorise from school textbooks which plainly doesnt work.. It will be forgotten compared to experiecnes that happen to a person in life. We cant learn with this system. And this plainly shows why our country cant be in the front line of the world. And for moral, we are forced to memorise word for word. but it DOESNT make a person moral. Even the naughtiest boy in the world can memorise and get an A for his moral exam but his attitude is like shit.. its pointless.. moral..

And because of SPM, i cant enjoy my teenage life before stepping inot the harder world of college.. I am restricted from internet, computer, going out, i fight with my parents, get stressed up, no phone, nothing for one year.. and it will repeat for years to come because of college.. i just feel like being on the edge of a million storey building where i cant even see the ground.. im so lost.. i cant turn back time and i cant do what i want. what if the world ends tomorrow.. i know i should be lucky for what i have.. but there are options.. haiz.. no doubt why students commit suicide.. i know u guys might tink that i might be a spoilt person because i cant live with privillages. but trust me, im not.. i can live without it.. but its just pointless that i lose things cos of an examination.. and the worse is students end up lying to parents to defend themselves from being scolded and thats not good.. in the end parents and child ends up fighting.. and for bm essays they will ask reasons on why children run away from home.. buts its because of the system here.. BM essays ask why students skip school and classes.. this is the reason.. as a student i say this.. this is how i feel.. i know u guys(teachers,parents.. etc) may be students b4.. but the system b4 and now is different..

U know just because of SPM i cant go for Youth Rally.. just because of spm i cant get involved with the Church and God.. wth.. 1 day also cant let me go.. haiz.. well if this is how my life is suppose to be, dont get angry if i get moody and all.. i cry cos i cant get the most of life.. we are just stuck in classrooms.. and homes.. so many chances to grab out there.. but it cant be reached.. im being tied up by my parents.. but i dont blame them.. they want the best for me.. i understand.. i know i made mistakes.. but i also know where to start and i hav started studying.. but its all cos of spm.. i cry..

Sunday, April 05, 2009


cant blog for awhile.. parents dont let.. mayb see me next year.. haiz.. SPM sucks..